Let me start off with a brief disclosure.
I D O N O T L I K E S E A F O O D
The texture is weird. The smell is awful. The sight…good Lord. Did you know that scientists know more about outer space than they do our own ocean? That concerns the crap out of me.
That being said, I still want to like seafood. I’ve hoped that, like people who randomly develop allergies in their 20’s, I’ll wake up one day with a newfound affinity for crab cakes and calamari. Until then I’m constantly
wasting my money buying and sampling seafood from coast to coast, waiting for the bite that will change my life. Which brings me to the real topic of this post…
Last month I was in New Orleans with a friend (watch our vlog!) and we visited NOLA Poboys because…I mean…you don’t NOT try a poboy when you’re in Louisiana. It was also partially due to the fact that I’m pretty sure I would have fainted had I walked any further looking for restaurants in that suffocating heat.
I walked in and searched the menu for Lauren-Friendly seafood items. This means seafood that has been controlled for it’s gross texture by being properly minced to pieces (e.g. tuna salad) or fried so hard there’s practically more batter than meat (e.g. popcorn shrimp). I also wanted seafood that was easy to remove and replace with terrestrial protein, because there was a chicken joint right up the street and it’s always smart to have a plan B.
I opted for the spicy fried shrimp poboy on a small bun. Nice and simple, right? Not too large, not too many ingredients. My trip buddy, however, was feeling indulgent. He ordered “Da Yat” – an 8 inch poboy with fried shrimp smothered in gumbo. We also ordered sno balls because, why the hell not? Then we sat in the back of the restaurant and waited for our food to come.
To be completely honest, I only moderately tolerated the meal, but that still means a lot coming from someone who usually can’t take one bite of shrimp without spitting it out. The spicy seasonings and crunchy batter were a perfect combination with the tangy pickles and cool mayo in each bite. I was actually able to finish the entire thing in one sitting, completely by myself *pats self on back*. Just as I was rejoicing this marvelous feat on my quest to seafood tolerance, my buddy offered me a taste of his unholy concoction. Let’s just say I’m definitely not there yet.
Baby steps, yall. Baby steps.